Sunday Blues

Today was an interesting day.

Right now I am looking at the “confessions,” which was a trend in the 1800s where families would survey each other their likes and dislikes, of Karl Marx and Frederick Engels. I have just learned that Karl Marx’s idea of happiness is “to fight” and his idea of misery is “to submit,” while Frederick Engels favorite motto is “take it easy.” Man, makes me wish I can go back in time and smoke a joint with Mr. Engels, and talk how he and Mr. Marx were so accurate on  their predictions of how capitalism would continue to ruin if allowed to grow and prosper. I’d imagine he would laugh at 1^st, and then get a bit sad, and then take a drink of the closest wine cup he could find (he was known for throwing parties for leftist thinkers that would  go to the wee hours of the morning). Also his response for favorite Hero, was “none,” and favorite Heroine was “too many to name one.” What a slick and smooth response, bet he was a ladies man.

This morning though, I was put into a bad mood by my Grandfather. I let his behavior, that I know and have dealt with countless times before, get to me. I was fortunate that my cousins and Auntie came over and kept him company, cooked him food, and helped him work out in the shop. I Got to do a few things for myself, but still, was unable to concentrate, just felt really trapped at home due to my Grandpa relying on me for most things still. But the day progressed, and I get a call from my Auntie to go pick up food from her friend in Agat. It is a common Chamorro practice for friends and friends of relatives to cook meals for the elderly, it is a sign of respect and overall just a good will gesture.  After a few failed turns, I call her for directions and finally get to her house.

I get there, and she ushers me inside to get the food dishes. I put them in the car while she comes outside and sits down on a porch chair. I take the time to enjoy the cool ocean breeze, the village resides alongside the beach, as she starts talking to me.

1) She talks about my Auntie, and how she and her are pretty close, they talk a lot.

2) She talks about how she knows my brother and appreciates his work with culture. 

3) She starts talking about food.

That is where it gets interesting.

The nice elderly lady starts talking about her family history. This exercise , when done by the older Chamorros, is a real treat to see in action, it’s something that has shaped me understand what culture is. It is what you learn from your family, parents, and the people around you. It is what you know and how you act amongst your peers.  Her passion for cooking was a trait passed from her mom, who always had food on the table for her dad who tended the crops. So she picked it up by osmosis. She told me that it was no problem for her to do this, and she offered to do on a later date. We spend 20-30 minutes talking (which felt like 5 minutes): during that time I learned what the “back kitchen” was, heard a sound argument on why Chamorros need to slow down on their sodium intake, and how to properly serve yourself at a fiesta party (Start at the end, not the beginning of the food table). It was so wise yet delivered in such a playful manner, a tone that many of our old folks here on Guam have. She really reminded me of why I enjoy listening to the elderly and learning about their experiences. The baked Salmon and Mongo Beans that she cooked too was really tasty. This was just one of many events that turned my less than stellar morning into a pretty good, intellectual stimulating, and inspiring Sunday. I started this entry talking about Karl Marx, so I’ll end with a Marx quote that I've always appreciated, and one that shows his true character.  “The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways. The point, however, is to change it.” 

A Weak Criminal Heart

I will never understand criminals.

This past week on Guam, a series of thefts occurred at about twenty elementary schools. Some broke into offices and stole money out of desks, which were later reported to be fundraiser and pledge money from students, but all of them had their vending machines hit. Department of Education comments that they will now have to remove all their vending machines off of campuses, citing them as an easy target for criminals.

Well 1^st off, I just would like to say that while I have never felt “poor” in my life, my mom was living under the poverty line when she was a single-working mother but she still worked hard enough to provide food every meal for me, so while I cannot say that I have been in a place where I have nothing, it has not been an extravagant or materialistic lifestyle.

But these guys/gals, who robbed from students, teachers, parents, and taxpayers, definitely were not devoid of any earthly possessions as they had cars to move between the jobs. What I just do not understand is the reasoning behind these acts; let me go through the potential planning phase.

“Let’s rob elementary schools.”

Ok, I hear this question, and the 1^st thing I imagine is what is there at elementary schools that makes it a suitable target?

Books? Pink Slips? Pencil Sharpeners? Chairs and Desks? Chalk?

“No, the vending machines.”

Ok, the vending machines, the money inside of course. You mean the machines that kids put their nickels, dimes, and quarters. That seems highly inefficient, I know people who throw away coins nowadays. Also, isn’t always a big risk to break into these vending machines? I’ve seen Barbershop enough times to know that sometimes there is not always money in these things (ATM machines anyone), and then you end up with no money and a few criminal charges.

“ It’s an easy target, there’s no security at night.”

Ok, this is true. DOE has no money to pay their teachers and staff, nightwatch seems like a tall order…

That last statement triggers something in my brain, “DOE has no money.” The Department of Education, a public service that is supposed to be for all of Guahan, is something that has no bad in this world, sure they are bad teachers and administrators, but the cause for public education is something that is proven to be a successful model. See Europe and a few Latin American countries.

Why the hell would anyone want to vandalize, take, and plunder the schools that their cousins, friends, relatives, and relatives of friends go to?

Why do they want to hurt themselves, and the people who pay the majority of the taxload, the burden of more costs that it will take to fix up the schools and money in them?

Before I get on my high horse, I know that the fact that they are criminals is proof enough that they will not think about these things, such as class consciousness and the true cost of government ventures. But I think that is a huge problem, did they not watch Robin Hood when they were younger, or read it?

You take from the people who have things (Rich) and give it to the people who have nothing (Poor).

You don’t take it from the poor or kids, and give it to yourself, even if you have nothing as well. Whatever happened to Solidarity with the common man?

Or actions have consequences?

Adbuster’s mission for 2013 basically was drilling the idea that humans, as a race, do not know the consequences of our actions, the cost of human progress and economic advance and it might be too late to turn back. I hope people will start seeing that idea soon, or we should all hope and pray that there is a God to save us all.

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Also the fact that they are no Vending Machines for the kids is just outrageous, they are some not-so bad teas and drinks there; it’s just not all straight up sugar sodas that they can enjoy. I loved buying drinks when I was kid from those machines, not because they were tasty to drink (they were of course), but it was fun to purchase something from the leftover change of money you used. It is like the 1^st taste of personal finances when growing up.

Dailies

Everyday I play a game I cannot win.

No, it’s not the lottery, there’s none of that here on Guam, or some sort masochistic process I go through for self-improvement, but it is something that hits near and dear to the heart.

The game is trying to please my 94-year old Grandfather.

 I use the word game not in the sense that it is not something to be taken seriously, because I am taking it very much so, but the “game” as in the sense Sherlock Holmes uses it, the “thrill of the hunt,” the journey.  Using past knowledge, the current mood of the situation and problems of the day, and the tools at my disposal, I try to do every caretaker’s job, especially one that is related to their patient, and make life bearable for an old and ailing individual (I do it to the best of my ability because I love him as well).

The task at hand is a bit harder than it initially sounds, and just like every good game, it looks simple at 1^st but has incredibly depth. Out of the players to play this game, the game of dealing with my grandfather, the player who had the complete mastery and understanding of all the secrets and levels was my Grandmother, who passed away just about a month ago.

When my Grandfather talks about her, he often uses the word “cool… your grandmother was very cool….”

While hip for his age, he avoids that adjective a lot, and remains to only use it to describe people who he finds very agreeable to be around with. My Grandma gets associated with it the most.

Me? He says I am “cool” sometimes, but not all the time. I can certainly agree with that assessment, since being cool in his definition is being very quiet and go along with his conversations in which sometimes I am not always pleased to hear him complain, but that’s another essay though.   I am more patient than every other family member and friend in the family. If we had a veritable stat system for this I would get 95/100 in Patience, 2^nd highest in the game, but my Grandma, with her higher overall experience (age in this case) and wisdom, would get a 99/100. Legendary status, an invaluable person in any “party,” and in this case, in my game, she was my support, or my number two. But with her gone, I have to fly solo.

And that makes the game harder.

At 1^st this was a daunting task for me to think about, my rock so to speak was unearthed from the ground around me, what was I was going to do? Well I did the best thing that I could do, and remember the things that she would tell me. The advice that she gave me every day were tips and tricks that would help me succeed in my own gameplay later in life, and she was not shy about dishing them out. She would constantly tell me, “Jer, you need to do this!” and this “is go if you know how to do this too!” My grandmother would always look out for me, and like any good teammate, I looked out for her. I realized that I did not know at the time how invaluable her words were, hindsight is so 20/20, and wished I had the back note pages that you find in old video game manuals to write down her best advice, but I remember more than an enough to find my own path in this world.

With this knowledge though, comes also a very important revelation, and that is realizing what the game is. My Grandfather is a man who is insecure and unsure of what he wants, but is somebody who only wants it his way. He’s a like a character in a game who is your ultimate benefactor, but you need to follow protocol in handling his affairs, or like a math or philosophy riddle that takes four University Chalkboards to answer. In life though, there is no winning, there is no conveniently designed ending that rewards you after a certain amount of playtime, or content that marks the end of your journey/expansion pack.  You finish the days objective, and the next day you find yourself doing the same thing, maybe mixed with a few variables, or a lot, really depends on the day. The only winners here are not the ones who get up in the morning with Stamina, Hit Points, Gold coins (money) or some other character stat, but the ones who can get up with a smile. I think Curtis Mayfield would even agree.

Also competition sucks, especially when it deals with people’s well-being, Capitalism? Survival of the fittest? These are pretty cruel and fascist ideologies that do not foster good will towards fellow brothers and sisters, but rather perpetuate judgment. 

Goals for the Chinese New Year

While I may not be Chinese, but I did miss the boat on the plethora of New Year’s Resolutions that are made around the turning of the New Year, so I plan to rectify that with this holiday. However, my goals usually start simple then turn into something more complicated as time goes by because you have to build a foundation. Four Things that I want to do in my life that I would think would greatly improve it.

“Wake up no later than 8 AM.”

Right now, one thing that really perturbs me is just waking up late, because one, I’ll have to hear it from my Grandpa for not being up at the right time, and two, that time I have before my Grandpa is awake is such a nice and quiet period around the house. He wakes up around 9 usually. Need to embrace that as it sets a strong mentality going forward in the day.  

“Set aside 20 minutes for daily stretches.”

Whether it be elementary positions that work the main muscles, or sit-ups and pushups, some sort of dedicated time to do this is so beneficial. I have done it this week, since Monday, and it’s been great. A terrific destresser.  So much tension has been running through my body, just my situation at home and being a caretaker, and things like this really do wonders for the mind, body, and joints.

“Read a book a week.”

This was a goal I realized about a month ago that I have kept at it actually, yay. My girl just gave a book bag full of Kurt Vonnegut novels (read a "A Man Without a Country" and was enthralled by every essay) which should keep me busy for a good while. He really is like a contemporary version of Mark Twain, one of his literary heroes, and I read a lot of good ole’ Samuel Clemens’ work back in High School (and thoroughly enjoyed it). Reading is awesome too, so mentally stimulating and so beneficial to one’s own writing as well.

 “Spend in an hour daily working in the garden.”

Whether it be weeding, watering, replanting, or doing a combination of them all, this goal is pretty important to me because that is what I want to do for my Grandma, who just passed with Lung Cancer. If there is one thing that I know that made her happy, are her plants. I know this because when she was getting sicker, taking her outside would not make her feel better, but worse, because she wished more than anything to be able to go outside, without the aid of a walking device, and be there with the inspects and spiders, tending her plants. Then the conversation would always turn to her commentating about how my Grandpa has always tried to cut or kill all of her plants, which would frustrate her.  I’ve always had a passing interest in growing plants, my dad was a long time Horticulturist, but recently I really do want to excel at it, and since I am home most of the day and every day, I want to know my surroundings, the yard included.

Four rather simple goals but stuff if I stick too, will help me 1^st, and then help everything I am around and associated with. 

Gesta Final

 Today, while I was trawling on twitter, I saw this interesting video game article linked. It was entitled "Castro rebel videogame is huge hit in Cuba." This headline instantly drew me in because it had three things going for it, it was about video games, Fidel Castro (I have more respect for him than Che), and the role of technology/art in a leftist based society like Cuba.  While the article is short, it is just the audio transcription of the video report, this is not the 1st time I have heard of the gaming culture in this small Island nation.

A couple years ago I remember a thread popping up on Teamliquid.net, the biggest Starcraft community site around, about a small isolated group of players from Cuba, of all places. This land of the accursed, as we are told by our government, have been under an embargo from the United States since the 60s, and the country of course has surrendered economic advance for the welfare of the people, so things like fast internet speed and high end PCs are rare. This though made Brood War a great game for the youth, since it does not require a new computer or internet, players can play directly through LAN. While this may be a shock to many Americans, where we are told are our whole lives Capitalism= Fun and Good, while Socialism= Boring and bad, where things of necessity, which give people a lot of self importance, have such a high value. But the truth of the matter is, the newest items we see on the shelves now, the Cubans, will see in some form  in 10-20 years.  Also Starcraft is such a great game, a great games will find themselves a community in any place, as long as people have food and power.

The game though that this article is on is a homegrown Cuban game, which is super interesting, as we see the party ideology at work here. Instead of being a game that is purely being played for recreational and sport reasons, this "Gesta Final" title is a state sponsored historical shooter, that inserts you into the Guerilla war that put Castro into power. The developer states that kids like games, and what way better to educate the teenagers about the history of their country through a First-Person Shooter, a popular genre amongst PC gamers. Glorifying war is another debate, but I guess the older generation of Cubans would like to show the sacrifices their forerunners made to overthrow the military regime back in 1959. This combination of art and revelation is something that I think all great pieces of work should have, as  multitasking through mediums is an effective and productive usage of time. It is interesting to me because this is what I kind of envisioned as valuable resources in the pop culture field when I took my Philosophy of Art class. Infusing things that young adults enjoy with revolutionary ideas . Like in the United States, we get the US military pouring money into their own game like America's Army, which tried to simulate modern warfare to draw in potential virtual trigger happy recruits, and throwing tons of money into advertisement and gaming organizations like MLG (Major League Gaming) to attract the same crowd.  Games, like all art, have been used for political purposes, but fuck the people who try to use it to recruit more people into the armed forces of the US empire. With the advent of technology reaching new heights in military application, see drone warfare, video games and real life may be one in the same.   

While the game's graphics look at least 10-15 years old, and these media outlets may be exaggerating the popularity of the game within the youth community, it is an interesting thing to see. Here's a screenshot of the action.

A Turn Before the Closing Action

My Grandmother's health has really declined in the last couple of weeks ago, she has become as weak as she was around the time she was admitted to the hospital. My grandpa, who holds so much faith in her ability to fight the lung cancer (a fight she did have but the cancer seems to come back stronger when compared to a year ago), has recently realized how weak she has become, and now is pained with worry. They have been enjoying the days sometimes, with stories like how young people think they know everything and how I don't look a Catholic Priest during WWII anymore (when I had my big beard a few years ago, they always said I looked like one), but other times I can sense their apprehension and anxiety, it is a wild ride that is throws its twists and turns. However the laughs, stories and smiles I get, and have gotten to exchange with them, is something I hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life.

Found this on reddit just today, what an inspiring image macro. One of my personal favorite quotes from an old Brazilian man of the cloth, Dom Helder Camara, on the hypocrisy of religion, and the powers that pervert any true intentions of spiritual doctrine. 

A Concise History of Black-White Relations in the USA

Find this cartoon on reddit, by a political cartoonist named Barry Deutsch, and it does an effective job of doing what the title says. His site has a whole bunch of goodies.